A midlife crisis, as the term suggests, is experienced during the mid-stage of your life. This phenomenon is a drastic turning point marked by many conflicting feelings.
People in the age bracket of 40 to 50 years generally experience this crisis situation. It is, therefore, a transitional period of intense emotional difficulties.
Midlife crisis has also been considered a myth by some theorists/skeptics. These criticisms state that a midlife crisis is often used as an excuse by people to escape adult responsibilities.
However, extensive research by the MacArthur Foundation Research Network on Successful Midlife Development, did not completely dismiss a midlife crisis. It mentioned that certain midlife stressors can expose the vulnerabilities in emotionally unstable individuals. This can trigger a crisis-like condition that can also worsen to cause depression.
Midlife crisis is marked by constant anxiety about getting alone and older with each passing minute. It also involves regret over past decisions, a growing sense of uncertainty about the future, and questions about the purpose of your existence.
Signs and Symptoms that You are Experiencing a Midlife Crisis
This section discusses what a midlife crisis looks and feels like.
- Constantly worried about what the future holds for you
- Anxiety about the inevitability of your death
- A strong sense of disappointment due to unfulfilled dreams
- A drastic drop in self-confidence levels
- A persistent regret about previously made rash decisions
- Frequent inclination to revisit past events/nostalgia
- A strong lack of willpower and motivation
- Complete social isolation and withdrawal from hobbies
- Weakened decision-making abilities
- No desire to engage in self-care
- Resorting to substance abuse or unsafe sexual activities to distract the mind
- Moderate to severe signs of depressed behavior
- Constant mood swings and irritable behavior
- An amalgam of too many emotions experienced at one time such as anger, hopelessness, regret, and boredom
- Displaying a lack of interest in an existing romantic relationship
- Reckless financial decisions
- Disturbed sleeping and eating patterns
- Being perpetually stuck in past adventures
The above signs however are very individualized in nature. Not all who are going through a midlife crisis will experience all the above symptoms. Your conflicting emotions and the current direction your life has taken have significant roles to play.
Both men and women can be affected by a midlife crisis. However, it might be triggered due to different reasons.
Women may become cranky and moody due to many physiological challenges. These body changes include hormonal imbalance, menopause, hair thinning, and decreased libido.
For most men, a midlife crisis happens when they feel that there will never be the right time to do something they always wanted. Social expectations clashing with hopes and dreams are the primary cause of this crisis.
You are bound to get thoughts such as:
- Half my life is over, why have I not done this yet?
- What is the goal of my existence?
- My past choices were wrong, it is time to make the right decision and set things right. So, what am I waiting for?
- Why did I not prioritize this for so long?
- I should have taken that job or opportunity
However, a midlife crisis is temporary and not a bad thing at all. It gives you a golden opportunity to seek deep self-discovery.
An in-depth reflection on your past can help you build long-term effective coping mechanisms. This is the key to adapting to new difficulties and fostering positive growth.
Strategies to Manage Midlife Crisis in Men and Women
In this section, I will talk about the different effective coping methods to deal with a midlife crisis.
Midlife crisis is not a mental condition or a mood disorder, unlike depression. There are no set diagnostic criteria or fixed line of treatments. So, the golden rule to managing a midlife crisis is to think of it as a short, tough phase in your life.
Dissatisfaction with the current state of affairs is one of the primary triggers of a midlife crisis. And it is all about navigating the intense emotional landscape. Once you start making sense of the root causes, you will be more in control of your mind.
Let us consider you are dejected due to unaccomplished ambitions – a competitive exam that you failed repeatedly in the past. You have one of two options to prevent the build-up of that nagging sensation:
- If you have time, you can still reorganize your thoughts. And attempt the exam once again with a revised strategy
- You can take this as an opportunity to learn something new. And pursue a new sense of purpose in life
However, it is easier said than done. You cannot get rid of the chaos in your emotions instantly. Because good things take time and different people will take different amounts of time.
Some may go through dramatic transformations in their lives. But for others, it may result in smaller changes in their outlook and priorities. Both changes are life-altering and can go a long way in alleviating a midlife crisis.
The healing process is highly individualized and based on multiple aspects such as:
- The person’s past experiences
- Cultural background
- Current situation
- Personality
- Ambitions and goals in life
In order to get out of this rut which seems never-ending, follow the below strategies:
1. Introspect Introspect Introspect!
This is a non-negotiable and also a no-brainer. Nobody knows you better than you, yourself. So, you are the most capable person to gaze into the depths of your emotions.
Start by identifying the sources of unhappiness and dissatisfaction. There could be many reasons such as:
- Changing family dynamics
- the death of a loved one
- a career revamp
- Physiological changes causing hormonal disruptions
- Feeling ignored or unloved by your spouse
- Feeling the impact of aging
- The pressure to look a certain way as you age and cover signs of aging (observed mostly in women)
- Fertility issues in women
- The anxiety of how will the family thrive post-retirement
- Unstable professional life and more
Investigate and journal these triggers. Work gradually towards making subtle adjustments each day. You cannot make them go away all at once.
For example, 500 reps of skipping every day consistently will get you to your weight loss goal in a controlled manner. However, skipping 1000 reps in a day to lose weight faster will only cause bodily stress and injuries.
2. Cultivate Positive Relationships
You do not need to manage your midlife crisis alone. Focus on creating a reliable network of people who can help you out at such times. It is best to reach out to people you trust to express how you feel.
A close friend who understands you well can help you make sense of your emotional turmoil. Who knows he or she might have weathered a similar storm before. So, they can listen to you better, and offer comfort or actionable advice.
3. Embrace Self-Care
This is the most difficult thing to do but absolutely worth trying. In a midlife crisis, nothing is going to make you happy. But nevertheless, you need to strive hard to find happiness in your own way.
A drop in mood or energy can disrupt the mental equilibrium affecting your routine for days on end. Do not let this happen. Otherwise, you will be trapped in a loop of no productivity until your midlife crisis extends into full-blown depression.
So, you must start by making meaningful changes in your lifestyle. After all a healthy mind and a healthy body go hand in hand. So, make an effort to introduce positive diet shifts, get more exercise, sleep better, and inculcate good habits to keep energy levels up.
4. Seek Help from a Mental Health Expert
Your midlife crisis can be a tremendous transforming journey if you receive the right guidance. If probing your innermost thoughts is an uphill task, talk to a counselor or a therapist.
A lot of men have unfulfilled aspirations. They struggle to meet cultural and societal norms of success. To repair this flawed view of accomplishment, seeking help from a therapist can go a long way.
In the case of women, loss of fertility, menopause, and empty nest syndrome are quite traumatizing. They are distinct life transitions and need personalized therapy approaches from a competent psychiatrist/counselor.
The office of a therapist is a safe place to openly talk about complex personal issues. You are in the company of someone who promotes empathy without the fear of judgment.
Conclusion
The road to recovery from a midlife crisis gives you a chance to capitalize on personal growth. You will feel better once you come out stronger and wiser, with a better understanding of your thoughts.
Life has a lot of good possibilities to offer. And you must try and open yourself to it. So, grab this opportunity to not only survive the storm of midlife crisis. But also to discover your latent hopes and unique identity. This will give you a clearer sense of your existence and your purpose in life.
She is an experienced Clinical Psychologist and Mental Health Writer with a decade of expertise in psychology. Skilled in assessment, therapy, and patient care. Committed to helping individuals through clinical practice and mental health writing at Therapyjourney.co. Passionate about promoting mental well-being and awareness. Open to aligned opportunities.