Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is characterized by intense emotional instability and the adoption of reckless behaviors. Rage or dramatic expressions of grief can be triggered by overreacting to little events.
This would be an apparent red flag if it were your adult kid, but what if it was your child? Don’t most teens have issues with self-control? Don’t they also frequently push the envelope by trying new things sexually and/or with drugs?
Sometimes the difficulties you’re experiencing with your teen go beyond the typical growing pains associated with puberty. Even though parents have the finest understanding of their children, your apprehension is normal.
Understanding everything about your teen’s struggles can enable you to support them. Read on to learn more about how to parent a teen with BPD.
How Can Symptoms of BPD Manifest Themselves in Young People?
Children, like grownups, have their own distinct reactions to various stimuli. A youngster who is easily tickled will react considerably differently to a light touch on the arm than one who isn’t.
The same may be said about how persons with and without borderline personality disorder respond to situations.
A child’s sense of value and confidence might be damaged if they are raised in an environment that does not encourage their unique individuality. They could have trouble connecting with others and figuring out who they are.
These kids may feel disoriented when they enter adolescence and turn to harmful activities. They may try to fill the void within by whatever means necessary, which can lead to the development of BPD symptoms.
Depression in adolescents is common, and it can quickly lead to suicidal ideation or conduct. These problems necessitate prompt action and the implementation of efficient treatments.
There must be prompt intervention for any suicidal ideation, behavior, or symptom.
How Do Teenage and Adult Borderline Personality Disorder Differ?
Typically, adults have been the targets of a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder. There is huge evidence that BPD can manifest in children and teenagers before the age of 18.
Personalities in adolescents are still developing; therefore, they may go through several transitions before reaching adulthood. Hormonal changes, stress, or worry may all contribute to mood swings, instability, and other symptoms.
The importance of a prompt diagnosis cannot be overstated. Early diagnosis of BPD symptoms allows for quicker treatment, which increases the likelihood of recovery and a fulfilling life.
Tips for Parents Dealing With Teenagers with BPD
Thinking that the symptoms of borderline personality disorder would “just go away” or that the affected person will “grow out of it” will only delay receiving help. Here, we have provided you with some tips for parents dealing with teenagers with BPD.
1. Emphasis on Feelings
Teens with BPD often behave out of anger or whatever else they happen to be experiencing at the time. As a parent, rather than concentrating on the negative outcomes of their behavior, you should strive to understand and address their feelings instead.
Your child will rely heavily on you. Make sure you’re an emotional support system for them. If the child knows their parent is there for them, understands them, and sympathizes with them, they will see the reasoning behind their conduct.
2. Consider Passive Parenting
Proper parenting requires using soothing phrases to comfort your kid. Yet, passive parenting is required for a child with BPD. Rather than making choices for your child, you should let them figure out what’s best on their own.
Hear them out and probe them for solutions to the issue. Let the child probe for answers rather than provide them.
3. Try Not to Dominate Them
Youth with BPD don’t intend to exert dominance. Instead, they become angry with themselves for feeling helpless. Their actions are not directed at establishing dominance but rather towards persuading the other person to share their perspective on the circumstance.
Therefore, it’s best if you, as a parent, take a backseat. Demonstrate to the child that you have sympathy for their plight. Then, provide them some time to consider potential answers.
4. Treat Them With Care and Affection
Adolescents with BPD often suffer from severe anxiety about being abandoned. They worry that their parents and friends will cut all ties with them if they don’t change their conduct. This youngster is searching for parental affection.
They’re looking for an intense bond that can serve as a rock in times of uncertainty and anxiety. When they feel secure in your affection, their intense feelings tend to calm down.
Find out if your child feels loved by you by asking them directly. When the kid is confronted with these feelings, the fortress of unconditional love and connection will protect them.
5. Don’t Dismiss Hints of Suicide
The first warning sign of borderline personality disorder is suicidal ideation or behavior on the part of your child. Most efforts and idealizations begin by the time a child is 12 years old. Be cautious to take any effort or idealization seriously, and consult an expert.
6. Prevent Early Addictions
Any addictive habit that begins in early adolescence has the potential to be a lifelong issue. It might be anything from video games to booze to sex to food to the phone to narcotics. Thus, attempt to assist, and bring in specialists to deal with it as soon as you detect it.
The Treatment of Newly Diagnosed BPD in Teenagers
Know that there is help for BPD. If an appropriate diagnosis has been made and the adolescent has begun evidence-based therapy, there is hope for improvement for both the child and his or her family.
Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) and general psychiatric management (GPM) are two treatments that have been shown to be effective for young persons with a borderline personality disorder.
1. Dialectical Behavior Therapy
DBT is often recommended for those who suffer from BPD. Self-injury and suicidal thoughts are the foci of this extremely successful treatment. Toxic habits like drug abuse are specifically targeted.
Adolescents’ behavior is examined and dissected by therapists during sessions. Teens are then equipped with the coping mechanisms and emotional intelligence they’ll need to face future challenges.
There are four distinct skill sets that DBT focuses on:
- Mindfulness
- Modulation of Emotions
- Communication skills
- Stress resistance
Combining DBT with CBT is a common practice to ensure that adolescents get the most out of each session. By learning to regulate their moods, adolescents can prevent further emotional and behavioral damage to themselves.
Teens who attend DBT programs get the skills to:
- Accept themselves and others regardless of their past
- Increase happy moments
- Take charge of their life by mastering the emotions that have been holding them back.
- Be a good communicator
- Not try to change things that are out of their hands
2. General Psychiatric Management
When more specialized or resource-intensive therapies are unavailable, GPM incorporates significant components of other therapy modalities to give care to patients. The efficacy of GPM in treating BPD has been proven to be comparable to that of DBT.
Adolescents are treated using the same principles as in traditional GPM, hence the name “GPM-A.” It aims to provide young patients with the foundational knowledge and abilities they’ll need to take control of their health and well-being.
Learners of these techniques can better keep in mind that they are more than simply a patient and continue to have a rich existence outside of medical care.
By participating in GPM-A therapy, children and adolescents with BPD can learn to think critically without reacting, identify their strengths, and adopt a more positive outlook on life.
Not all patients can benefit from DBT or GPM, despite how successful they can be in the right hands. In addition, there is no clear winner between the two therapies. It is best to discuss your treatment options with a professional in the field of mental health.
A patient’s treatment team may recommend supplementary therapies they feel will be most helpful in reducing symptoms and improving quality of life. Researching the therapy on your own and making sure it has a solid scientific foundation and is administered by a qualified expert is essential.
The Role of Family in BPD Treatment
A solid network of emotional support is essential for adolescents undergoing therapy. Members of the patient’s family are strongly urged to participate in their care.
Family engagement in therapy can be boosted by parental involvement, which has been shown to enhance outcomes such as general family functioning. Everyone benefits from treatment when parents and siblings are involved.
Teens are more likely to seek therapy and participate actively if they sense their families support.
Those who have friends or family members diagnosed with BPD know how difficult it can be to make sense of their actions and symptoms. When it comes to their adolescent’s mental health, some families have a hard time accepting help.
A member’s borderline personality disorder (BPD) may disrupt family life. An individual’s BPD symptoms may also be exacerbated by dysfunctional familial dynamics.
Everyone in the family can benefit from learning more about this disease and developing coping strategies via family therapy. Family members learn to recognize and break negative reinforcement and diagnosis management loops. The outlook for a person with BPD can improve if this is done.
Closing Thoughts
The challenges of parenting an individual who suffers from borderline personality disorder are not to be underestimated.
You can acquire the support you need from your loved ones and the professionals in charge of your teen’s mental health to get through the tasks at hand and ensure the health and safety of everyone living in your home.
Take care of yourself, and ensure you and your adolescent can still talk to each other. You can help your teen cope with their illness today and set them up for success in providing care even as they enter adulthood.
She is an experienced Clinical Psychologist and Mental Health Writer with a decade of expertise in psychology. Skilled in assessment, therapy, and patient care. Committed to helping individuals through clinical practice and mental health writing at Therapyjourney.co. Passionate about promoting mental well-being and awareness. Open to aligned opportunities.