No One Understands Me! What to Do & Whom to Talk About It?

Do you feel like you are a miserable misfit? It is not an alien feeling at all. Feeling left out, misunderstood, or lonely is possible even when you are surrounded by a bunch of people.

It is frustrating, and you might end up lashing out at your closest inner circle. This might be counter-productive and dent your personal or professional relationships.

It is quite emotionally satiating when others hear you out and understand your feelings. However, what to do when nobody gets you? I will help you deal with this tumultuous feeling better through this article.

Where does this Loneliness Come From?

This section of the article will discuss the causes or sources of that empty feeling of isolation.

Every human has an emotional void that he or she may seek to fill. The primary cause of disappointment is when the void remains unfilled for a long time. Lack of human interaction can further intensify this void and cause extreme emotional loneliness.

Traumatic experiences such as heartbreak or betrayal in the past can create lifelong trust issues. In this case, affected individuals are more likely to withdraw into a protective shell to avoid being vulnerable.

Too many expectations from others can also set you up for too many disappointments. You cannot and must not expect others to understand every aspect of your life. Unfulfilled, unreasonable expectations are bound to stress you out and trigger you to feel that you are all alone.

For example, as a gamer, you may expect your non-geeky best friend to understand your passion for gaming. However, your friend shows no interest in the conversation about gaming and frequently changes the subject. This may shake your confidence and lead you to feel that nobody gets you.

In the above example, your expectation of your friend to share the same passion and knowledge may cause you immense displeasure.

Remember, things may not always go your way. And every human is different with different likes or dislikes. So, limit your expectations, and keep them as reasonable as possible.

Here are some reasons, in a nutshell, why you think like no one gets how you feel:

• Not being able to handle rejection very well. It happens due to an intrinsic fear of being rejected by others, causes overthinking, leading to misunderstanding
• Mental health illnesses such as depression, social anxiety, and depression can make you feel extra-conscious of how others perceive you
• You have been physically or sexually assaulted in the past, leaving you scarred for life
• You have deep trust issues due to a bad childhood marked by emotional abuse or bullying in school
• You are not vocal enough about your emotions and let them bottle up for too long. And you expect others to understand you without any meaningful communication
• You try to artificially seek validation to fit in. It can mentally exhaust you after a point. So, this approach is unsustainable as the facade will not last very long
• You are constantly immersed in negative thought patterns
• You have a unique personality and behave like a high-functioning and deeply sensitive introvert
• You hardly have like-minded people in your friend circle, so it is hard to warm up to them
• You fail to understand others or other situations from a different perspective

What to Do to Help You Feel Understood and Cope Better?

Let us understand how to safely manage these constant feelings of emptiness and loneliness. And help others get your emotions.

1. Effective Communication is Key

First things first, stop the blame game! You are very likely to take others for granted and lash out at people unnecessarily when they fail to comprehend your emotions. It happens when your frustration levels are through the roof, and you lose control over your behavior.

You must understand that there is no telepathy between you and the person who you expect to get you. So, you must speak your mind and tell them how you exactly feel.

Blaming them for not understanding you will only make them shun you. They will be constantly walking on eggshells, and you do not want people tiptoeing around you in fear. This way, you may end up losing a lot of important people in your life.

2. Do Not Victimize Yourself

The last thing you want from people is PITY. Playing the victim card can help you seek a lot of attention for some time. However, if you continue to mope around all the time, chances are, some of these people may not stick around longer.

For a second, put yourself in their shoes and think about it. Would you be okay with people cribbing and venting 24/7? As a listener, you may have your limits and might want to engage in a better conversation. So, you most definitely will not enjoy a one-sided interaction riddled with perpetual self-pitying, sulking, and complaining.

So, embrace your emotions and take some responsibility because everyone here is struggling. Do not behave like you are the only one wallowing in misery.

You need to develop the ability to constructively “talk or discuss” emotional difficulties instead of harboring a victim mentality.

In a nutshell, quit being a crybaby and deal with it like an adult.

3. Be Careful About How You Motivate Yourself

Many misunderstood people tend to loathe themselves after failure. This also applies to highly successful individuals. They motivate themselves with negative self-talk, which encourages them to be a better version of themselves. This can worsen emotional emptiness.

Recognizing and working on negative thoughts is one thing. But falling into a rabbit hole of destructive thought patterns can be counter-productive. This is the right time to pursue fun activities, meditation, and hobbies to divert yourself peacefully.

4. Seek Professional Help

Every individual is unique. So, stop judging yourself based on the rigid standards set by the world around you. Social media can create many such false-positive illusions. And I would advise you to stay away from them.

Opening up to people is hard as you would struggle to find the people who understand you. Try to connect with your most trusted network of friends and gradually tell them how you feel.

If your friends fail to get it, do not give up. Isolation can easily trigger depression and all sorts of mental troubles you do not need. So, it would make sense to reach out to professional therapists or counselors for neutral, unbiased guidance.

Conclusion

There is no need to shut down and walk away into complete isolation. The more you withdraw, the more you will feel that nobody understands you. This further heightens the need to be understood by people. It is a vicious cycle.

So, no matter what, always ensure you work on putting yourself out there a bit every day. Hope this article helps you in overcoming emotional loneliness.