What is self destructive behavior? It is a violent expression of frustration and anger shown by hurting your own self physically or emotionally.
Have you ever used self-damaging remarks about yourself in a fight or argument?
Here are some statements as an example:
- “I am a very bad friend”
- “I am not intelligent enough to understand others”
What is the purpose of such self-sabotaging statements? The answer is – it depends on the person.
Some may genuinely use it to loathe themselves, thinking they are not good enough. While others may employ it as a tactic to manipulate others into thinking they are bad.
They may try to find support in such self-berating remarks to gain power through pity. And show others that they are the only ones wallowing in endless misery.
I perfectly understand the misery of struggling with this “self destructive behavior.” I know the pain it causes, and I know how dangerous it can be, especially for your loved ones. Hence, in this comprehensive guide, I am going to decipher self-destructive behavior, from its definitive causes to its permanent solution, everything in detail.
Definition of Self-Destructive Behavior

Purposeful infliction of serious physical or emotional injuries due to extreme anger and distress constitutes self-destructive behavior. It is a form of negative coping mechanism that may provide a short-term escape from difficulties in life.
However, these actions have negative repercussions on your health, your relationships, and your lifestyle. They may also put you at risk of many other mental illnesses, causing even more emotional damage.
Burning yourself, cutting, suicide, self-sabotaging and substance abuse are some of the ways of self-destruction. Most of these actions depict visibly harmful and aggressive behavior. And are used to avoid strong emotions, reduce mental agony, and escape reality.
What Causes Self-Destructive Behavior?

Let us discuss the primary causes of chronic self-destructive behavior in this section.
Self-destructive behavior can have multiple origins and factors. These will differ from patient to patient. However, it generally evolves over many years due to a wide range of complex triggers.
Here are some commonly known reasons:
- Poor self-esteem
- Past traumatic experiences
- Social pressure, including peer pressure
- Emotional instability
- Absence of appropriate coping strategies
- Panic and anxiety
- Depression
- PTSD
- Bipolar disorder or personality disorder
- Dysfunctional families due to conflicts at home
- Bad or toxic parenting
- Past physical or sexual abuse
- Suppressed anger or emotions
Most of the elements of self destructive behavior have its origins in early childhood days. Children with separated parents are also more prone to developing violent tendencies. It is because most of them fear abandonment and emotional neglect.
Solutions to Alleviate Self-Destructive Behavior

This section will talk about the various effective methods or treatments available to address self destructive behavior the right way.
Treating someone showing frequent self destructive behavior can be a bit challenging. Thanks to the deep complexity of the condition.
When patients allow their emotions to get the best of them, they generally resort to self-destructive actions. Unfortunately, such behavior becomes tough to tackle as it tends to push help away. This, in turn, causes more hurt and loneliness.
So, when it comes to effective treatment for this condition, there are a few things to remember:
- Your doctor/therapist must have a comprehensive understanding of the severity of the condition
- A detailed analysis of the complex interplay between external environmental triggers and internal emotions
- Addressing the root causes is a non-negotiable for choosing the right treatment approach
Bottled-up feelings can eventually turn into a boiling pot of rage. In most cases, this becomes the root cause of self destructive behavior.
A haphazard effort to control excessively strong emotions can cause major mental suffering. Therefore, your treatment must revolve around alleviating these causative factors to reduce self-destructive actions.
A diseased mind can easily trigger self-destruction. So, focus on the diagnosis that helps you connect violent actions with certain mental conditions. Cognitive behavioral therapy is great for recognizing and challenging deep-seated negative thought patterns head-on.
A lack of good friends can trigger feelings of loneliness. In the absence of trustworthy people to lean on in times of trouble, self-punishment is the most preferred coping mechanism. So, it is important to build a supporting community to tackle self destructive behavior.
Identifying harmful habits and making behavioral adjustments will form the core of your treatment. This way, you will be able to heal inside-out and get sustainable outcomes. You can also journal your major triggers to avoid them gradually.
Do Not Ignore Self-Care

Being regular with self-care can be hard. But it can do wonders while treating self-destructive behavior. This section will cover more details!
Poor self-care can further deteriorate your mental condition. So, make sure you inculcate good habits and not take your physical health for granted. I would suggest the following best practices for physical fitness so you can build enough emotional resilience:
- Get enough sleep (6 to 8 hours of peaceful sleep)
- Stay hydrated at all times
- Focus on incorporating a nutrient-dense diet with enough protein (protein intake must be at least 0.36 grams to 0.8 grams per Pound of your weight)
- Include multivitamins in your daily routine to address deficiencies causing exhaustion
- Avoid alcohol, junk food, and excessive sugar
- Indulge in resistance training, mindfulness meditation, yoga, and breathing exercises
- Pursuing hobbies for mental relaxation can help maintain emotional stability
- Channeling your emotions through music or other artistic/creative pursuits
Look for like-minded individuals to share your emotions with. They can empathize with you better and lift your spirits. Try to expand this community as it can become a great point of contact with people who have shared interests.
If you are on the lookout for a more supportive environment to express how you feel, reach out to counselors. They will help you identify what sets off self destructive behavior in you and create personalized treatment plans for you.
Techniques such as DBT (Dialectical behavior therapy), CBT, and other therapies can help you reframe your negative self-talk into constructive thought patterns.
Conclusion
Self destructive behavior not only affects your health but also hinders success. Your fear of failure, feelings of disappointment, and extreme emotions of worthlessness can lead to bad habits.
These negative emotions can also put you at risk of constant harsh self-criticism. It is one of the primary reasons preventing emotional healing. And the biggest hurdle to dealing with self-destructive actions.
The key is to avoid being trapped in the above vicious cycle. And follow appropriate therapy approaches, practice self-reflection, and use positive coping strategies.
Remember, you set attainable goals for yourself. Otherwise, you will be disappointed with certain results when they do not match your harsh objectives. And be compassionate, especially when you hit a rough patch in resolving self destructive behavior.
This way, you can make great strides in addressing your actions. And promote excellent mental wellness in the long run. The recovery journey will have obstacles. But smaller victories will eventually get you closer to your final goal – constructive behavior.

She is an experienced Clinical Psychologist and Mental Health Writer with a decade of expertise in psychology. Skilled in assessment, therapy, and patient care. Committed to helping individuals through clinical practice and mental health writing at Therapyjourney.co. Passionate about promoting mental well-being and awareness. Open to aligned opportunities.