Why Am I Such a Loser? 6 Ways to Overcoming Self-Doubt

Self-doubting and questioning your capabilities can be a huge psychological burden. We all have to face it, at least a couple of times in our lives.

It can be quite exhausting to be entirely consumed by self-doubt. Knowing that you are unable to do something directly hampers your self-worth is directly hampered. But hey! You know what?

No human is perfect! Because nobody needs to be perfect. Everyone is constantly growing at their own pace as an individual. And none of us can or are expected to work like machines. Even programmed robots break down once in a while!

So, amid daily stressors, it is natural for some amount of self-doubt to creep in. However, chronic self-doubt can affect your life in many ways.

Do you frequently label yourself as a loser? So much so, that you doubt yourself concerning pretty much anything in life. Now is the right time to fix this inferiority complex. This article will help you reconsider your negative thoughts and overcome self-doubt.

Why do You Feel Like You are a Loser?

Now a path through self-doubt may overwhelm you. And you might feel like you are navigating a chaotic maze of unknowns. However, the journey of overcoming this inferiority complex starts with understanding its major causes. What triggers this loser-like emotion in you?

It originally comes from a strong lack of belief in yourself. A sense of being a loser is felt deeply when your internal narratives clash with the worldly pressures of life.

When this happens, you are unable to keep the nagging voices of harsh self-criticism away. And eventually, it becomes a massive emotional landscape for you to process.

Here are some commonly known triggers that can make you feel like a total loser:

• Failed ambitions
• Unfulfilled career goals or aspirations
• Relationship difficulties
• Performance anxiety
• A constant comparison with cultural norms and standards
• Past trauma and setbacks
• Difficulty in handling the pressure of future challenges
• Difficulty in fulfilling others’ lofty expectations, especially the ones imposed by society
• An inherently negative outlook toward life
• A flawed and exaggerated perception of failure or success
• An inherent lack of confidence or self-belief
• The tendency to wallow excessively in nostalgia and worry too much about the future
• Self-imposed, highly unattainable goals causing feelings of inadequacy
• The tendency to focus more on others than on yourself (social media can further worsen this situation. You end up comparing yourself with others. And self-planting the stubborn seed of self-doubt)
• In some cases, there could be underlying mental health issues triggering feelings of self-doubt

Longer periods of low self-esteem are hellish and tough to get rid of. Nevertheless, you must understand that you are not simply defined by these emotions. They do not determine your true character either.

Bad times happen to all of us. So, what matters more is how you get through this confusing labyrinth, full of self-doubt. If you think about it positively, these emotions making you feel unworthy are also giving you a chance to self-reflect. So, go for it!

6 Ways of Overcoming Self-Doubt

This section discusses the feasible strategies to master the art of overcoming self-doubt.

First, focus on creating a mindset based on self-belief. It starts with truly understanding your insinuating emotions. And also calls for four important actions:

• Deep introspection
• Tracing the roots of self-doubt
• Identifying negative thoughts
• Building resilience to those thought patterns
• Reclaiming self-worth

Let us take a look at some effective ways of overcoming self-doubt.

1. Strengthen your Beliefs

One of the reasons you are questioning yourself is that your core belief system is based on negativity. Beliefs are developed from a young age and help you make sense of new incoming information. But you must discard the ones that do not serve you well.

Your fundamental views as you grow up, will be flawed if you interpret everything based on your stagnant negative beliefs. So, focus on your inner dialogue, jot your thoughts down, and evaluate the pros and cons. Ask yourself if a particular belief holds any water.

Putting your negativity on paper can help you restructure it. This way you can watch your negative thought patterns every day, and be aware and in control of them.

Imagine a worst-case scenario and think about how you would tackle it. Your initial solution will be based on your negative views right off the bat. Because that is how you are conditioned to brainstorm for all these years.

The voices in your head are not always true so stop falling for it. Take a deep breath to pause for a while and reassess your thoughts.

The immediate next step is to think about constructive ways of looking at the problem. Your negative beliefs will be challenged at this point. But the brief pause can help you get them out of the way and approach the issue more sensibly.

Of course, you will not be able to challenge your preconceptions successfully from day one. So, it is important to apply the above steps to every difficult scenario you face. And gradually get used to it till your positive beliefs are strong enough.

2. Identify the Major Causes

Get to the bottom of why you feel doubtful about yourself. Is it because you are scared of failure? Do you fear rejection?

Ask yourself these questions and try to find answers to them. In this process, you will eventually lead yourself to the primary triggers. If you manage to uncover your insecurities, do not mask them. Work towards resolving them with positive thoughts and actions.

For example, the voice in your head tells you that you are fat and ugly. And nobody wants to be with you or talk to you. What would you do?

• Recognize the negative self-talk
• Stop this chatter in your mind then and there
• Break the conditioning of years
• Turn to self-love

The people who ridicule you are not in your shoes. Your problems are your own so it does not matter what they think about you. Practice self-care and self-love till it develops into a habit that sticks with you forever.

3. Celebrate your Achievements

To break the cycle of self-doubt, journal your successes. You will know that you are not a loser once you look back to see how far you have come.

Make a note of all your accomplishments, major or minor. And celebrate those milestones. Because each one of them is meant to take you to a larger, more meaningful goal.

Journaling your achievements will help you be aware of all the strategies and positive thoughts that worked in your favor. So, you reach out to them every time you struggle with negativity.

4. Do not be Too Hard on Yourself In Case You Fail

Being more self-aware, accepting, and non-judgmental is key to getting rid of self-doubt. So, do not let failures define you.

Treating yourself kindly after a setback is crucial for progress. It resembles the quality of a brave fighter who is ready to get up and try again.

You can always rework your strategy to get better results in your next attempt. A small improvement every time you try will eventually help you overcome self-doubt.

5. Be Clear About Your Purpose in Life

When you know what you want and why you want it, you will be more equipped to overcome the hurdles in overcoming self-doubt.

There will be many ups and downs in this journey. But with some sense of purpose in you, you do not need to be pushed as much. And have already embraced the bumpy ride.

6. Have Positive People Around You

Self-doubt can be quite stubborn, making it hard to get rid of. However, everyone needs good social connections to instill some positivity. So, surround yourself with people who value you. They believe in you and praise your abilities, constantly reminding you that you are not a loser.

These relationships can help a great deal in overcoming self-doubt.

However, you must go beyond your usual network of friends if your self-doubt is severely impairing your daily routine.

Professional treatments can alleviate the situation in such cases. This is especially true if your self-doubt is a symptom of a mental condition such as depression or anxiety.

Conclusion

To further sharpen your awareness, you must improve your lifestyle and practice mindfulness meditation. This will help you introspect in better ways.

We tend to be more compassionate to others than we are to ourselves. “I will fail if I take a break now and waste time”  is reframed as “I will study better with a fresh mind after a short break which I deserve anyway”. This is crucial for building resilience to self-doubt.

Tell yourself that you are fully capable of overcoming the challenges thrown at you. Remember that your negative thoughts could be your ill-informed interpretations based on your past experiences. So, it is important to evaluate these ideas objectively to overcome self-doubt.

Instead of ruminating on past mistakes, think about how you can prevent them in the future. Practice positive affirmations, and have a more compassionate inner dialogue, to gain a more positive perspective.

This is your journey, you are the hero and you are also the villain depending on which way you go – self-doubt or self-belief?