Why Don’t I Feel Like Myself? Is It Normal? An Inner Self Guide

No, it is not normal to constantly feel, unlike your usual self. It could be an indication of an underlying mental health issue.

Although the fact that mental health issues could cause debilitating ailments has been around since the time of Freud, Jung, and Lacan, it is only recently that the masses have gradually become aware of its far-reaching implications. Today, one in 5 adults in the US alone lives with mental health problems. And at least 1 in 25 adults live with severe issues like bipolar disorders, schizophrenia, or depression.

As someone who is battling mental health issues myself, I feel I should talk about how deeply it can affect you personally. Like most other people, I had brushed aside my mental health issues initially. I did not know my anxiety was getting the better of me. I was becoming compulsive about almost everything. And being irritable was my default frame of mind.

Only after I realized that I was gradually losing my sense of self did I grasp that I may need professional help. Who was I? Why was I on this planet? What was the point of my existence? Why should I continue living? I asked these questions to myself constantly. And came up with nothing. These weren’t just philosophical or spiritually rhetorical questions. I felt lost.

Have you ever felt like this before? Or are you currently battling feeling like this? Maybe this inner self guide will help you.

How do You Know that You are Not Feeling Like Yourself?

While everyone will experience different emotions, these are some things I felt when I did not feel like myself. Sometimes, I felt a multitude of these emotions all at once, and it was pretty overwhelming. You can look for some of these signs.

Feeling Detached

One of the first things I felt was that I was suddenly detached from everything. It felt like I was living Someone else’s life. This gave rise to a lot of anxiety. I felt uncomfortable in my private surroundings.

I wanted to be somewhere else but had no idea where to go. This can also give rise to a lot of insecurity as you suddenly start feeling unsafe.

Not Fitting in

When I stopped feeling like myself, I assumed being around my friends and family could probably help. However, I thought I did not fit in anymore. I disliked going out and did not feel like socializing at all. And yet, when I was by myself, I felt a crushing sense of loneliness.

When this went on for quite some time, I stopped interacting with people altogether. I declined party invites and stopped responding to messages, feeling at a loss about what to say. I felt isolated, although everyone seemed to carry on as usual.

Sleeping Too Much

I was never the most disciplined person, but I usually stay on top of my tasks. However, I suddenly felt very sleepy during the time that I was not feeling like my usual self. I kept grappling with mixed emotions, and they were extremely exhausting.

I felt depleted of all energy, unable to think anymore. And I found respite in sleeping. As a result, my work got delayed, and I started procrastinating a lot. I felt that if only I fell asleep, all thoughts would disappear. I didn’t know back then that oversleeping was also a sign of depression, but now I know better.

Making Excuses

Another symptom I noticed around this time was that I was making many excuses for my actions. When my friends or colleagues asked me if I was okay or seemed a bit strange, I brushed them off.

But in reality, I was constantly making excuses for missed deadlines, refusing invites, or simply being lazy. It was probably a burnout, and the phase would soon disappear. However, it persisted.

Self-Sabotaging

Dealing with negative emotions was one of the most challenging things I had to do around this time. I knew I was engaging in self-destructive habits, but I carried on with them anyway. I binge-watched Netflix late into the night till my eyes watered. And I slept in till past mid-day, going without food and drink and often without a bath.

I started ordering more and more junk food and gained a lot of weight. If friends and family tried to point out what I was doing to myself, I just told them they were overreacting. But deep down, all I felt was, “What’s the point?”

Low Self Esteem

Once I started losing my sense of self, I also lost my self-esteem. I cringed whenever I had to step out and meet people. Most of the time, I left any gathering on the slightest pretext. Or simply hid in the corner of the room if leaving was not an option.

I lost all sense of worth. I used to be awed by the tiniest accomplishments of my acquaintances and forgot that I have two degrees under my belt, too. I hid under baggy clothes because of my growing weight and even fumbled while speaking to Someone new.

Over Controlling

In an effort to hold on to who I was, I started controlling everything around me more and more. And yet, these were things that I simply could not control and did not matter. Instead of controlling my disruptive food habits, I tried controlling how no one would see me sneaking in unhealthy snacks.

I refused to come out of my room for hours at a stretch and was irritated at anyone who came calling. I knew it was not who I was, but I stuck to those bad habits that were so unlike me.

How to Start Feeling Like Yourself Again?

Feeling like yourself again is a journey that you have to undertake all by yourself. You have to walk back to who you used to be. I was just a shadow of my previous self until speaking to my therapist helped me feel like myself again. Here are some of the things I did during this time.

Doing the Things I Loved

Once I decided to go for therapy, I was asked to go back to the things I loved to do before I started feeling lost. My therapist told me that I may not like it at first but to keep at it. So, every day, I pushed myself to start playing the guitar again, something I have been doing since I was a teenager.

I hadn’t touched my guitar in a while. So I got it off the shelves, dusted it, and started playing the songs that were once my favorite. Gradually, I started loving the process all over again, and it slowly reminded me of other things that I loved.

Revisit My Childhood

One of the things that can trigger mental health issues is unresolved childhood traumas. My therapist spoke to me about “inner child healing” -something that I was completely unaware of.

I revisited some of the incidents that affected me deeply as a child. And my therapist helped me locate patterns in my current environment that had triggered those same emotions all over again. That is why I was feeling so unlike myself lately, unable to figure out where my issues genuinely lay.

My therapist told me that as an adult, I have the resources now to heal myself, something that was not available to me back then.

Mend Burnt Bridges

If you also don’t feel like yourself, just like me, I suggest you try mending some of the bridges that have been burnt. It may not have been your fault, but forgiving and letting go has a massive role in finding your inner peace.

Our sense of identity is often created by the people we interact with. And when you lose connection with them for whatever reasons, you also stop feeling like yourself. This is especially true if you have had problems with your parents or primary caregiver, and healing those relationships can help you recover as well.

Physical Exercise

Physical exercise is an excellent way to lift your spirits and help you connect with your physical environment. It also releases endorphins that stimulate your nervous system.

If you have been cooped up inside for too long, walk in the sunshine to the places you love to visit. Connecting with nature and feeling one with your surroundings will make you feel like yourself again. This is also an excellent way to connect to the outside world gradually.

Meditation and Yoga

Yoga and meditation help you become mindful. It helps calm the constant chatter in your head and enables you to reconnect with your inner, more profound being. You can practice yoga and meditation under a professional if you are new to this.

Meditation helps you gain more awareness, and with time, it can help you become more compassionate towards yourself. Consider what makes you feel unlike yourself in these quiet moments. The answers will eventually come to you.

Talk to Someone you Trust

I felt utterly disconnected for a while when I stopped feeling like myself. I was closest to my grandpa, but he passed away five years ago. I felt there was no one I could talk to.

However, I spoke to one of my distant aunts who was not very close to us as a family, and yet with whom I always had a bond. I visited her one day, and she listened to me very calmly.

She helped me feel grounded by reminding me of some things she had noticed about me in the past- things that were unique to me. And these were aspects of myself that I never felt anybody else had seen. Speaking to her gave me a fresh perspective, and I tried reconnecting with myself again.

Contact a Therapist

If you cannot find Someone you trust, you can always contact a therapist. They will not judge you for how you are feeling or what you have been doing.

A therapist can teach you coping mechanisms if you feel too overwhelmed and unable to deal with the questions that may arise in your mind. And they will also teach you what to do so that you can always find a way back to yourself whenever you feel this way.

Why is Timely Professional Intervention Crucial?

It is alright if you just feel different or a bit lazy on certain days. Everyone goes through those phases once in a while. It is also okay to procrastinate and take it slow for some time instead of pushing and hustling all the time.

However, if you don’t feel like yourself for weeks or months at a stretch, then you should seek therapy. For example, feeling entirely different from how you used to feel can be the first signs of bipolar disorder. Even if the case is not so extreme, suddenly feeling like you are Someone else or losing your sense of identity can be very disturbing.

A therapist can help you understand why you are feeling this way. Is the cause of some recent changes in your immediate physical environment? Or has something hidden deep down in the recesses of your childhood memory triggered you?

Coping with such an overwhelming feeling all alone is not easy. And seeking professional help can help you find a way back to your former self in the most therapeutic way possible. Seek out a licensed therapist and open up to them.

Final Thoughts

If you ever have to ask yourself why don’t you feel like yourself, then the first thing you need is patience. You may be overwhelmed, but it is okay. Life throws us various challenges; sometimes, you may feel inadequate to face them.

That does not mean you are unworthy or incapable in any way. Give yourself time to figure out your strengths and how you have come so far. And with some timely professional help, you can always continue on this journey of self-discovery.